Long ago and far away, parents and teachers actually made
the decisions that mattered. The
students ruled no thing. If I misbehaved
in class and my mother was contacted, there was zero question in my mind who she
would believe. And when I say it was
“taken care of at home”….I mean IT WAS TAKEN CARE OF AT HOME. Let your imagination gaze a while there.
School….that time of year when the work load begins and
feelings are worn on shoulders.
Here are a few things that I have learned the hard way:
Parents, your child is sometimes disciplined because they
actually did or did not do something that was required of them. Doing homework, and preparing for class is a
real deal. Tears do not work. Late nights? They are still responsible. Tried, but did not understand the material?
At least make the effort and talk with the teacher in the morning. Family time? We all need family time, but
there is still responsible work to do. How will they ever learn responsibility
if they know Mom will “make the call” and get them out of it? They need to learn that everyone in the world
is not designed to promote or provide them happiness. Let’s live in the real world.
Parents, do not put all that self-inflicted pressure on
yourself to make your life look like a Pinterest account. I love that beautiful world that can be
created, but let’s be honest. It will
not happen. We can wish it to be so, but
let’s just tone it down. Simplify. It’s in the simple-lived life that your
children will thrive. That’s when it is
easy for them to see Jesus in all things.
We are raising and you are sending to school children that
cannot function if they are told “No” or “you need to do that again”. Young, small people that only think of
themselves. I can’t even.
Sometimes…shocker…a child will be in a class or have a
teacher that they just don’t jive with. That’s life.
Deal with it. Get through the
year and learn some God-inspired lessons.
You cannot go to college with them.
The professors WILL NOT TALK TO YOU. Don’t get me started.
Also…all the “back to school” stuff that begins in July and
continues for a solid two month cycle.
Really? When my sister and I were
school age, this was our back-to-school-gear:
two outfits…two, a notebook, notebook paper, pens and pencils. Sometimes crayons or markers. We were not expected to have the most and
best of everything. There were no
backpacks! We carried things like mules
to the barn. We were given enough to get
us through and all these years later, we haven’t suffered from being deprived
of anything.
Be an advocate for your child? Yes!
Be a warrior on your child’s behalf? Yes!
Be a crutch your children expect? No.
That is a dishonor to them as future adults and to God, Who
gave them to you.
A parent that thinks and plans through their job will
prepare their child for every type of road they will travel in life. The easy, smooth road where life is pleasant
and wonderful and the hard, rocky road where the pitfalls are in every
direction. Don’t take the wheel from
them during these moments. Let them
fail the quiz. Let them serve the detention.
Let them sit on the bench and learn what God has for them in times that are
less than wonderful.
It will be OK. It is
not certain death. It does not reflect
on your parenting skills. It’s them
learning from their mistakes and figuring out how to get past it.
Every parent wants their child to succeed. Who doesn’t?
They want them to grow up and become serving, socially well-adjusted
people. If we do not teach them to
finish a school assignment, be on time, bring all your supplies, don’t be rude
to the teacher, don’t blame the school, etc….and every other excuse…..
Then----we are not doing our job. Hard fact, but true.
And here is another:
They will not excel and be successful in every thing they do.
But---they can be respectful, speak when addressed, be kind,
and own up to what their actions show.
Give them responsibility.
Have them be the one to get their clothes ready, pack their lunch, and
make sure their backpacks are ready. If
they forget something, oh well…..they forgot.
It’s not life threatening. Make
them in charge of something and then let them deal with the fall-out.
Kids want to be helpful.
Whose two year old has not said to them, “I DO IT MYSELF”. Bless. Let them.
It can make your life easier if you will let them try.
My five year old (soon to be six) grandson is a ball of fire
and you better be ready to deal with him.
But, because his mother instituted the “You will have jobs” manifest in their household, he can do real
life tasks. He can deal with the trash,
empty the dishwasher, gather the clothes, fix his lunch, set the table, along
with other WORK that his brothers and sister help with. The parents have basically helped them with
the mindset that they are a family and families work and have fun together to
make the household run well.
Parents, we know you love your children. We know that you will do whatever it takes to
help them succeed. I’ve been there. I
know that road. You long for the day
when they will reach down and put their own underoo’s in the hamper and say,
“Thanks mom for helping me learn this very hard task.” It may not happen for a long time, but
listen closely. There will be a day when
you look at your child, perhaps your adult child and think, “God, You make all
things good in Your own good time. You have taken all the messes I created, all
the parental blunders, all the times of not being what I should and turned it
all out for good.” He’s good like
that. God knows exactly what your child
needs and when. He knows when they will
wreck on the bumpy roads. He knows when they will roll down that smooth
highway. He knows.
And because He knows, we can rest in the fact that the world
does not revolve around our children. We
are responsible to show them Jesus, to lead them to Jesus. To show them what a sold-out, all-in, we want
more of God life looks like.
Eternity.
That is all that really matters.
Love God. Love your
children. Love your family. Love your people. You will be thankful you did.
